i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
