I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
