weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
