My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
porn star boner night. come get it.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
