did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
