There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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