I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
