HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Is that strawberry winking at me??
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize