I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
