I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
