What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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