I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
When are your genitals available?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
