I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
