Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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