He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
