Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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