We won't sleep together?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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