No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
