I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
