Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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