so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
