It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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