I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
