Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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