I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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