So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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