i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
