Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
