Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
