i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
