i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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