I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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