i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Girls should come with a carfax report
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
