Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
