dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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