can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
