This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize