I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
