i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
That accounts for only three of the penises
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
