His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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