She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
