are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
