Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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