He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
