I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
