Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
