just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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