You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
i think i just lost a toe
I forget how to act sober
Randomize