now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
