guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I wish I only lived at night.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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