its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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