Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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