No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
