This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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