We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
