so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize