Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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