that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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