Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
