But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
