I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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