He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
