all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
